Dear Nancy

Nancy Johnson/Columnist
Published: June 22, 2008

Dear Nancy, I need your help. I have a son in the third grade. He is taking his SOL's this week. He is always the first one finished in class and makes straight A's on every report card. The thing is he feels he is just too smart for his grade and always finishes his class work first. Because he is always the first one done, his teacher assumes he is rushing. He says that the questions are too easy. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Mother of a genius

Dear Mother of a Genius,

When school reopens in September I want you to request a conference with your son's teacher. You need to express all your feelings to the teacher and ask for his or her help. Let his new teacher know that he feels the work is too easy and that he finishes quickly. It sounds like your son is gifted and there are programs here in the county that will challenge him.

As a parent you are allowed to request he be tested for the gifted program. Most of the time when a child is doing well in school you assume that a parent-teacher conference is not necessary. I think it is important for parents to meet their child's teachers and for the teachers to meet the parents. You are working as a team to make sure your child is happy and successful in school. Let the teacher know that he finishes his work quickly and ask them to provide enrichment activities for him to do. He may enjoy working on the computer or working on a project that is of special interest to him. Remember, always be your child's advocate. Thanks for writing and good luck in the next school year.

Sincerely,

Nancy

Dear Nancy,

I have a 24-year-old son whom I love with all my heart. He borrowed money from me last Sep-tember for legal fees. I had him produce a promissory note stating that he would pay me a certain amount each month until the note was paid off, which should have been this past April. He has given me two payments so far. I told him that I am not a collection agent and the reason for the note is so that I could take him on Judge Judy if needed (as a joke at the time). He has a job that pays well, lives here at home rent free. He has anger issues that I DO NOT want to deal with! How should I approach him? At this time I am not working and could use the money to pay the bills.
Please help,

Northern Virginia

Dear Northern Virginia,

I think you should approach your son when you feel he has an open mind and sit down with him and be very honest about your concerns. He is a man now. Tell him that you aren't working and that this is causing a financial struggle for you and the family. Tell him that you need him to help out as a member of the family. Take out the promissory note and renegotiate with him. Ask him what monthly payment he would feel comfortable with. Explain what would have happened if he had taken this loan out with a bank. Tell him you love him and that is why you did this for him in the first place. Explain that now you feel he has taken advantage of the situation and you want to set things right. Do another contract with him that you both sign. If this doesn't help then you may have to go to Judge Judy!

I am also concerned about his anger issues. He is so young to be feeling so angry all the time. Ask him if he would consider seeing a counselor that could help him talk out his issues so that he can move forward with his life feeling happy. Thanks for writing and good luck.

Sincerely,

Nancy

Nancy Johnson lives in Prince William County. She is a seventh-grade teacher at Rippon Middle School, a mother, grandmother and retired in-home child-care provider. She can be reached at .