It was inevitable. Hillary Clinton is back, and she’s John McCain’s new, not-so-secret weapon. 

It’s hard to realize just how technologically connected we are nowadays — cell phones are almost de rigueur for anyone able to talk. 

All entries are in for the Second Annual Write Scott Hollifield’s Column While He Is On Vacation Or Performing Court-Ordered Community Service Contest, and an expert panel of literary and journalism professionals are at this moment debating each entry, arguing vehemently over symbolism and allegories and the underlying meaning of the term “dog snot.”

When the term “nickel and dime you to death” was first coined, it probably came from the incredulous lips of an airline passenger. 

On July 31, a major newspaper that serves the Greater Washington area ran a story about an Internet-based “diploma mill” that operated out of Washington state. 

Al Gore got it right when he said, “I don’t remember a time in our country when so many things seemed to be going so wrong simultaneously.”

OK, I realize that if you know anything about grammarians, you’re aware that a happy grammarian is an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp or rap music. 

Today, nearly itch-free, I must thank the many readers who stumbled upon last week’s column about being, as we say in my neck of the woods, “eat up” with poison ivy and offered their sympathies, remedies and horror stories of gigantic, oozing sores that I will never be able to remove from my brain no matter how many times I jab myself in the ear with the sharp end of a No. 2 pencil. 

Hashmel Turner of Fredericksburg, Va., wears two hats: City Council member and part-time pastor of the First Baptist Church of Love.
Rev. Turner wants to pray in the name of Jesus Christ — including at council sessions. 

They say if you want to get someone’s attention, it’s better to whisper than to shout. While that may be true, I’ve found that if you whisper too low, the other guy can’t hear you and you wind up repeating yourself, which can spoil the mood, especially if you’re angry and want to stay that way.

Right now I think the greatest invention in the history of man is the air conditioner.

Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, . . . Tim Kaine?

From time to time my wife and I like to spend a “long weekend” at one of the better hotels in New York City. While there, we make it a point to dine at popular restaurants and to take in at least one Broadway show. In the past we’ve traveled by air, but no more. From now on, we will be taking the train.

One of the sweetest and most refreshing drinks in the world is a cold glass of lemonade. How ironic it is that it comes from the sourest fruit available — the lemon.

It’s an election between old and new.
The Republican presidential candidate is a former war hero and seasoned senator who would be the oldest president in history when he starts his first term. His opponent is a much younger, charismatic Democrat. 

I have been listening to National Public Radio in the mornings when I wake up. One subject that has been getting a lot of attention lately, both on NPR and in Washington, DC, is school reform.

A portraits of the ladies in church, who exemplify faith. 

I itch.
As I write this, I am trying mightily to keep from removing my fingers from the keyboard and raking them across the ugly, raised red patch on my shin.

I know people have lost houses because they couldn’t afford their mortgages. Others have lost jobs and cannot pay off their debts. 

I know people have lost houses because they couldn’t afford their mortgages. Others have lost jobs and cannot pay off their debts. 

For better or for worse, and probably for better, the divisive, demagogue-rich issue of immigration (illegal or otherwise) has not reared its ugly head within the national presidential campaign — at least not to the extent that it dominates the far more important issues of the economy and war.

If you need a reminder of why healthcare remains such a centerpiece of the fall election campaign, meet Kathryn McGinn of Woodbridge.

It was not a pretty scene last week as I laid down on an emergency room bed two days shy of my 40th birthday. 

“Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote”
— George Jean Nathan

Gray responds to readers comments. 

Can-do candidates become can’t-do presidents. 

If one were to peruse the dictionary, one would find a definition of president as “the chief officer of an organization usually entrusted with the direction and administration of its policies.”

All right, full disclosure here. I taught English in public high school for 32 years before retiring five years ago. More often than not, when I met people for the first time, especially when I was teaching, their comment on learning what I did for a living was, “I’d better watch my grammar.” Sometimes if I was in a smart mood (which I am most of the time) I would tell them I wasn’t issuing any grammar tickets that day.

When I read that Lang Lang would auction off his red Steinway grand piano to raise money for an earthquake relief fund, my first thought was this: How the heck did a panda learn to play piano? 

Kicking Russia out of the G-8 would be a bad idea.