25 years

Charles Reichley
Published: June 26, 2008

Yesterday was my 25th wedding anniversary. Now, 25 years seems like a long time. I’ve been married over half of my life now — longer than I was single. Long enough to know whether I’ll get in trouble for this column.

I’m old enough that I sometimes forget things a minute after they happen. But I still remember my wedding. At least, I think I remember it, or at least the important parts, although sometimes what I
remember doesn’t quite match reality. 

I played a piano prelude at my wedding. I’m not much of a player, but I figured I didn’t have anything better to do while I was waiting. My wife cried a lot, probably for good reason, looking back over the
past 25 years. I had scraped up my legs sliding into second in a softball game, so it was painful to kneel.

We married at my childhood church. It was a nice old church, stone walls, lots of charm and no air conditioning. Maybe not the best choice for a late June wedding, but I don’t remember anybody wilting.
Of course, this was before the whole global warming thing.

I can’t remember if we were pelted with rice or bird seed.  I bet my wife remembers — she might even have some around somewhere. We probably have pictures as well. I should have checked them out
before writing this, but I don’t know where we keep them. It’s after midnight, and my wife is in bed.

I had picked a pianist for the reception. But she didn’t make it — while cutting her grass, she ran over a bee’s nest, and I believe she was in the hospital. I remember the reception being a bit rushed —
the hotel was new and had booked another event right after ours. I remember the planner pushing us through all the activities — eating, cutting the cake, greeting guests, dancing and flower-tossing. 

After it was all over, our take was that if, at the end of your wedding day, you are actually married, it must have gone OK.

On the other hand, our reception ended so abruptly that none of my friends had time to “decorate” my car or to follow us after the reception on a wild car chase (which was just as well, as we only drove
down the street to the McDonalds and then back to the hotel).

McDonalds may not sound romantic, but some of my fondest memories from college involved going to McDonalds. My wife always said she liked me because I would share my fries. Sometimes I remind
her that she was the one who actually won the free one-year supply of fries in the contest.

We honeymooned in the Bahamas. I remember the two of us getting a bad case of sunburn. I also remember defeating my wife in tennis several times in a row.  As she was the better player, I felt good
about this, until I found a large sea-thorn was stuck in her foot. I haven’t really beaten her since. (There was one time in college when I won a match from her.)

After I got back to the dorm and bragged to all my friends, she said she had been tired of beating me and had decided to see how many times she could hit the tape.)

After the wedding, there was the long period of living together. I wanted five children. My wife wanted two. We compromised, and have two wonderful children.  I think compromise is a key to a loving
relationship.

We spent our first 13 years in a house I bought before we were married, which I was “remodeling.” I finished six months after we moved out. I thank God my wife didn’t move out without me, as a sane
person might have done.  When we bought our current house, she made sure it had a finished basement to remove all temptation.

Twenty five years seems long, but it’s not so much. My parents are past 50. I married knowing it was a lifelong arrangement, and I’ve never considered anything different. I think some people “try”
marriage. But I like what Yoda said: “Do… or do not. There is no try.”

I know I’ve been a disappointment in many ways. I wonder why my wife has put up with me for so long. But I guess if, at the end of 25 years, we are still married, it must have gone OK.

Charles Reichley has been a Prince William County resident since 1981. He can be reached at critically .