A new message on black fathers

Davon Gray
Published: July 14, 2008

A presidential election wouldn’t be the same without a controversial statement from Reverend Jessie Jackson.

Last week, Reverend Jackson forgot rule number one of interviewing: always assume the microphone is on. 

To keep this a G-rated column, let’s just say the Reverend Jackson said, under his breath during a break in a television interview, he wanted to do Barack Obama bodily harm below the waist. Then he
said that Obama is “talking down to Black people.”

Why? Because Obama talked about the need for Black fathers to be more responsible to the children they father.

Reverend Jackson was quick to apologize for his comments but many Black leaders were just as quick to distance themselves from him. 

That is good to see considering that in the past many have put up with his “slip of the tongue” moments. But in the end, this story will only get a few days coverage from a political slant, but I have a
different take on the matter.

His comments show the proof of something that has been building for awhile. It is the apparent change in thinking among current leaders within the Black community and the traditional Black leaders
when talking about personal responsibility.

Thirty, 20 or even 10 years ago, comments like Obama’s would have come from more conservative leaders and would have been dismissed as irrelevant rhetoric.  Maybe times are changing. One can only
hope.

For instance, when Bill Cosby began his nationwide tour to talk about Black fathers, it was seen as controversial. Many rejected the message and could openly do so because Cosby was not an elected
official. Obama however is.

That makes some people feel a little uncomfortable. Some are probably thinking, “shouldn’t he [Obama] be spending his time talking about more traditional political issues like education, the Iraq War,
etc. Those who are thinking that way might be right politically, but that is not the emphasis of my point here.

Whether Obama wins or loses doesn’t really matter when it comes to the issue of fatherless homes. The growing number of homes without fathers, especially within the Black community, is an epidemic.
Some time ago, Newsweek reported that an estimated 50 percent of all Black children are being raised without their fathers.

This statistic should not embarrass the Black community or make some feel like they are being talked down to, but it should shame those fathers who are abandoning their responsibilities, thus putting
the burden on taxpayers and forcing mothers to raise children alone.

I speak personally from this issue as I was one of those children where the father did not live up to his obligations. I can remember growing up where all of my neighborhood friends were either being raised
by their mothers or grandparents. 

Reverend Jackson seems to think highlighting that point is talking down to someone. I see that as asking people to do better.

Again, this has nothing to do with a political campaign or a specific candidate. A home left fatherless because of neglect automatically puts the child at a disadvantage. That makes America a weaker
nation from within.

Thanks goodness that some children facing this disadvantage, including myself, had other family who took a father’s place. But again, that should not be the norm and it certainly doesn’t always happen.

Reverend Jackson’s “Old School” mentality of demanding personal rights over personal responsibility must be reversed, but especially in Black America. 

If it takes a political campaign to get rid of it then so be it.

The reason is simple. Too many Black Americans came to America as slaves and were separated from their families on purpose. A man was separated from his wife and children to demoralize the slave
community and because the stronger man had more field value.

The idea was simple: a separated family weakens the family.

Now all these years later, Black men are still being separated from their homes but by choice. How odd it is that some think that mentioning this is to talk down to someone.

Davon Gray works as in Washington, D.C., and resides in Woodbridge. Contact him at .