Good news by government edict

John Merli
Published: July 17, 2008

If politicians in Romania have their way, and they usually do, soon the media in that former Soviet state will be forced to earmark clearly half of all its space and time to “positive news.” That may sound
like a nifty idea at first, especially if freedom of the press is of no concern whatsoever, but coming up with that much good news these days will take some creative thinking and maybe a whole lot of
creative imagination.

I had the pleasure of visiting Bucharest, the capital of Romania, a few years ago and can attest to the country’s historic significance and its natural beauty, along with its friendly people and good food.
But as far are governments go, it remains one of the more corrupt outside of Africa, while at the same time it slowly strives toward becoming a real free republic.

It was here, you may vaguely recall, that a revolt of the Romanian people led to the execution of their corrupt and ruthless dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu, and his nagging wife for crimes against the state.
After a hasty trial, they died quite suddenly by firing squad on Dec. 25, 1989. (Yes, Christmas day. Talk about subtle.) So when the Romanian Senate this month passed a bill that would instruct its
media to make sure half of all “news” is of a positive nature, maybe you can understand why some of their journalists were a bit concerned (especially with another Christmas coming up again in a few
months).

While such strident and gimmicky media control, or a lack, thereof, would be hard to pull off in this country, there have been TV channels which have voluntarily presented their own “happy news” as a
shameless ratings ploy from time to time (not that it stands out much anymore from all the other shameless gimmicks a lot of stations pull these days).

Oddly, and perhaps thankfully, the concept of “happy news” never really caught on with viewers, who, after all, live in the real world and apparently can watch only so much of life through rose-colored
glasses before it’s time to get back to the bad stuff.

Still, most any news story, no matter how depressing, scary, or disheartening it may be, can be given a positive slant (as the White House and Fox News can attest) — especially if we let our
imaginations soar while suspending all rational thought and reason. I seriously doubt that enforcing a mandate on “50-percent good news” will ever be passed by our own Congress, but if there’s anything
we’ve learned since 9/11, it’s that you can pass virtually anything if you wrap the words “patriot” and “freedom” tightly around it and tell us it’s for our national security. For example:

• “Congress isn’t as dumb as it appears.” A new study by the Center for Feel-Good Research reveals that while Congress, as a legislative entity, still operates with a breathtakingly low mob mentality,
other even less intelligent forms of life have recently been discovered that make lawmakers seem downright almost smart. These lesser life forms include ancient ice crystals found on the surface of Mars
and Paris Hilton.

• “Crime is up but it could be a tiny bit worse.” While new statistics point to a shocking doubling of homicides in many large cities, along with a tripling of car thefts and a quadrupling of burglaries, the
good news is that $4-a-gallon gas has had a positive impact on lowering red-light violations by a full one-seventh of one percent — thanks to fewer cars on the road, and thus, fewer drivers in those fewer
cars.

• “Optimist Club not too optimistic.” The Optimist Club recently held a meeting in Arizona and discovered that many of its members were not very optimistic about the economy, or their home values,
their jobs, or other aspects of living these days. In fact, they could come up with almost nothing to be optimistic about. But there is good news: They don’t live in Romania. Yet.

John Merli has been a Prince William County resident since 1984, and a Potomac News columnist since 1985. He has worked in the media for more than 30 years. E-mail him at .