Take the time out to remember the fallen

Davon Gray
Published: May 26, 2008

Let’s take a time-out from the daily grind for a minute, it’s Memorial Day. 

But the time out is not so we can catch our breath from the daily commute or because its an opportunity to pile into our vehicles and get an early start on vacationing, although that is what’s going to happen. 

No the reason is to acknowledge the meaning behind the day. 

The other day I went and looked up the meaning of the day. I did so before but thought it would be good to refresh my memory. 
Here’s a little bit of what I found:

Memorial Day first became recognized after the Civil War, in May of 1868 as a day of observance for those who had died in the war. 

The observance was first practiced later that same month by women placing flowers on the graves of the soldiers. The actual holiday was not first recognized until 1873. New York was the first state to acknowledge the day as a holiday.

As I read this quick factoid, one moment in my life came to memory. About ten years ago, I visited Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day. I wanted to hear, then President Bill Clinton, give the annual
Memorial Day speech and hopefully see the laying of the wreath on the tomb of the Unknown Soldier. 

On my way to the Amphitheatre to hear the speech, I met a woman who was not there for any president’s speech.

She was there on a more solemn mission, a very personal one. She came to lay her own flowers on the grave of her brother who died in a plane crash during World War II. 

She was somewhat frail but nonetheless determined to get those flowers, without any help, to her brother’s grave. I found her devotion touching. 

Somehow, and I can not remember exactly how, we struck up a conversation. 

She told me that her trip, while becoming more difficult with age, was an annual pilgrimage. It was something she would not miss for anything. You could see in her eyes the love for her brother and how proud she was that he served his country. 

She would not allow me to help in any way but did want me to be there to watch her place the flowers down at his grave. I was honored just to be there.

After words, we talked for a little while and I left her alone so that she could have private time at her brother’s grave.

I never saw that woman again, and given her age I do not know if she is still alive. 

However, I can remember the dedication she had to finding the exact spot of her brother’s grave and laying down those flowers, similarly to the original intent of the day itself.

Before the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, many of us had not personally known of people either injured or killed in war. I would listen to my grandmother and other relatives talk about friends they had lost in World War II, Korea or Vietnam.

Now that has changed. We have a new generation of silent warriors and heroes to acknowledge, honor and pray for.

I am not sure of the number of soldiers who have lost their lives or been injured from our area, but I would like to take this moment to let their families know people in this county are praying for them.

But I also want to take this moment to remind each of us of one thing. While we are going on vacation, enjoying a barbecue or just taking advantage of the day to relax at home, remember those whose sacrifice makes it possible. 

Moreover, remember their families, especially those of our most recent conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. I bet that just like the woman I met at Arlington Cemetery, they will certainly remember their loved ones on this day and we should remember them as well.

Davon Gray works as a lobbyist in Washington, D.C., and resides in Woodbridge. Contact him at .