Trying to answer the question of “why?“

Davon Gray
Published: April 6, 2008

Last year I lost one of the most influential people in my life — my grandmother, or grandma as I called her. She was a co-mother to me and a woman of wisdom. But among all the titles and honors I would love to bestow on her, the one that captures me the most is “teacher.” 

One day she showed me a scrapbook that taught me a lesson I will not forget.  On the front of the scrapbook was one simple word, “why?” I remember asking her what the “why?” stood for.

She said it was a question she and millions of other people asked during the times in which she lived. You see, grandma’s young adult life was spent in Mississippi during the height of the Civil Rights
Movement of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Back then, Mississippi was a different place than it is now. 

In the scrapbook grandma had a poem that talked about the sacrifices of her times.

Not so much the sacrifices of discrimination and brutality, but instead the poem talked about why all the young leaders of that generation had died — specifically Dr. Martin Luther King.

As she taught me through her words and that poem, Dr. King was not only a leader, but he inspired others — specifically young people — to lead as well.  We sure do need that now.

While many of the leaders back then were killed for what they believed, others remained to be what I like to call “quiet warriors” of that time. None of these people led marches or gave speeches. They simply went about their day, raising their families with dignity in the midst of America’s soul-searching experience.

Grandma remembered the day Dr. King died. It wasn’t so much her words that struck me as the mood of her talk. It was a mood of sadness, incompleteness and chaos. 

If you ever get the chance to talk to someone who lived through all of that, it is as though they are mentally reliving the moment as they talk and recall.

As of last Friday, it has been 40 years since Dr. King’s death.  Time has also past since grandma and I had that discussion of her question “why?” I sure do miss the types of talks we had. 

But one thing that I carried away from this talk in particular was that Dr. King was not killed by a man filled with racism. He was killed by the hands of a man filled with hate. 

Racism is only a symptom or expressions of hate. It is also the answer to grandma’s question of “why?”

Today, in our own times, racism in its raw form is not the problem — it is hate.

We see it everyday, unfortunately mostly in our young people. 

There is something wrong with us when kids at a local basketball event are stabbed or when third graders in Georgia are plotting to assault their teachers in some conspiracy led by a 9 year old. 

It is the same hatred that killed Dr. King 40 years ago last Friday and it engulfs our society today.  No, this type of hate is not based upon race but its effects are just as longstanding and devastating.

And, just like back during grandma’s day, we are left to asking the question why? Why are our young leaders, our children, dying or being victims of violence at such an early age. Today we need our own quiet warriors to help stand in the gap of what seems to be hate’s newest assignment — our children.

Davon Gray works as a lobbyist in Washington, D.C., and resides in Woodbridge.Contact him at .