Have more compassion for the elderly among us

John Suren
Published: May 16, 2008

I am led to believe that many of our old people are not being given the compassion and kindness that they richly deserve and desperately need. People need to realize that growing old is probably the greatest of all challenges. Thoughtful and kind people can make it less difficult.

My first realization of this came some years ago when one of our daughters was a candy striper at a nursing home. She often told her mother and I that some of the patients never had visitors. Now that I am old I feel compelled to write about this subject. My intent is far more general, than personal.

People who are old do not want sympathy — they need kindness and understanding. They need the sun, not the clouds, the thunder or the rain. They do not need Christmas letters wherein the writer is bragging about personal achievements, a cruise, travel, visiting relatives or friends, their grandchildren, etc. They need to have some one listening to them, not them listening, or reading, about someone else. They need self expression, not self containment!

I have probably been blessed far more than many old people. I have wonderful,thoughtful children.  They clean my house, take me out for meals, prepare meals for me, keep my refrigerator stocked with food, take my loyal and faithful dog for walks, etc. I also have some kind and thoughtful friends. I have a man whom I coached in high school call me almost every week. Recently, six men that I coached in high school came to visit me, and took me out for lunch. 

But there are some people who claim to be friends who never visit or call. Do as I have done — eliminate them from your life. Let them live with their weakness — not you! 

JOHN SUREN

Manassas