No safe haven for birds in Montclair
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Michael J. Novak
Published: July 25, 2008
Riddle: When is a bird sanctuary not a bird sanctuary?
Answer: Apparently, in the People’s Republic of Montclair, whenever Our beloved leader decides there is too much bird poop.
Silly me, I always thought that a bird sanctuary was a place where birds — all birds — were free from harassment, injury, and killing.
But in his monthly rant in “The Montclairion” (http://www.montclairva.com for those not so fortunate as to live in our paradise and have the thing delivered to your mail box), our beloved leader tells us that being
a bird sanctuary is no impediment to “supervised egg addling” and “thinning” of the current population of Canada geese if the outcome is less poop on the premises. I have no idea what “egg addling” is,
but I’ll bet it’s probably not good for the eggs. I do know that “thinning” is a euphemism for “killing,” which I know is definitely not good for the geese.
Now I dislike goose poop as much as the next guy; and I have on occasion hunted waterfowl. But isn’t there something just a little hypocritical about killing birds and messing with their eggs in a bird
sanctuary? (I wonder who it was that designated Montclair as a bird sanctuary in the first place — and what they would have to say about this Orwellian turn of events.)
So, in conclusion, this to my feathered friends: As you wing your way through Montclair and see the signs proclaiming our community to be a bird sanctuary, don’t for a minute think that you have found a
safe haven.
You never know when our beloved leader will develop an aversion to cardinal poop or robin poop.
Bird Sanctuary?
MICHAEL J. NOVAK
Dumfries
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Reader Reactions
Posted by ( magicman ) on July 25, 2008 at 12:52 pm
“Big Brother Is Watching You.” Glad I moved into Dale City back in 1971.
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Posted by ( kgotthardt ) on July 25, 2008 at 10:09 am
In a future life, I want to come back as a Canadian Goose.
Remind me to avoid your bird sanctuary. I and my feathered family might be aborted.
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Posted by ( T Dawg ) on July 25, 2008 at 8:49 am
1) Very poor taste to air dirty laundry in a public forum. This is a homeowner association item and should be taken care of at the homeowners meetings.
2) FTA: “this is to my feathered friends”
I don’t believe birds have learned to read yet. Just like deer, the county puts up ‘deer crossing’ signs and them durn illiterate deer still cross at other locations, normally when a car or truck is coming.
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Posted by ( wellread ) on July 25, 2008 at 6:59 am
Mr. Novak
Please do an article on the Montclair Property Owners Association (MPOA)and their bullying of residents in regards to their: flowerbeds, cracked driveways, garden edging,lamposts that are faded, untrimmed bushes, and my favorite, a gutter that has dirt on it! The list goes on! The MPOA has hired on salary (like a prostitute), one of Satan’s agents to find fault with every house in Montclair with threats of fines over $1000! And we, the lost lambs pay this lady (and I don’t mean a classy, polite woman) with our monthly dues. I have lived in Montclair for 20 years and never has this low class bullying from such a crude, illbred minion of the MPOA, taken place. The president of Monclair, ahem, is a spinless individual who is letting the poor residents of Montclair be harrassed on an almost daily basis. Shame on him. Please help us!
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