Ted was a gentleman and a scholar

By Dave Fawcett

Published: July 29, 2008

I am searching how best to start this tribute to Ted Gruszkowski.
There are a lot of different directions to take because with Ted, there was never a shortage of signature moments.
I could point to the candy jar he always had on his desk at the Potomac News, a jar that was chock full of assorted goodies that usually was emptied within 24 hours, primarily by me.
I could point to the staple expressions he always used.
If he was thanking you for helping him put his column on the page, he’d shake your hand and say, “you are a gentleman and a scholar.”
If it was telling him that you didn’t have enough space to get his entire wealth of copy into the paper this time, he’d say “beggars can’t be choosers,” which was another way of saying how grateful he was for whatever he could get.
Or I could look at his tireless work ethic. This was a guy who was in this building all hours of the day and night, feverishly working on his column for Saturday’s paper as he made sure that scores were being reported, names spelled right and attribution properly given.
No detail ever went unnoticed with Ted, who died Sunday at age 71 after a long illness, and he made sure, even if he tested people’s patience sometimes, that it was done right. He was stubborn that way.
But for me, more than anything else, it was the moments away from the candy jar, the trademark sayings and the devotion to his sport that made him a special person in my life and I would imagine others as well.
He was a guy who served as a voice of wisdom, kindness and reason when I’d find myself getting frustrated with something in or out of the building.
Ted was never one to pry, but he always had a good sense to know when to step in and say something and when to back off and not say anything at all. When he did step in, he’d placed a hand on my shoulder and in a calm voice, like a father speaking to a son, say something that would give me peace.
He could relate to what I was saying, but he defused it by providing words of wisdom. And if he didn’t have anything to say, he just smiled and that in itself was uplifting.
Ted was always upbeat, happy to be doing something he loved, which was writing about bowling for the Potomac News, something he had done since May of 1990.
But he never lost sight of those around him. He would joke, compliment and even lend a helping hand to such things as the printer and making sure the toner was always full. There’s even a stray cat that hangs out in the paper’s parking lot that’s been well treated by Ted over the years.
Ted never was into self-promotion. He was always about serving others and he did it without pretense or deceit. He was upfront and always talked straight.
Sometimes, I had a hard time reconciling his kindly disposition with the image of a hard-nosed military guy who quite honestly put up with very little nonsense, if any at all.
He used to tell me that he’d always tell his charges the same thing anytime a mess occurred: “the first time, I will take care of it, but if it happens a second time, there won’t be a third time.” And he meant it.
Although he was a decorated Vietnam War veteran, Ted rarely talked about any of his military experiences.
I remember he mentioned once negotiating with some Montagnard tribesmen in Vietnam. And I swear, he once made an off-hand comment about being in Panama and something about Noriega.
I never got the details on that one and didn’t need to know, but it caught my attention and reminded me he was a guy who lived a well-connected life where he was clearly in the know about a lot of things.
It left me feeling like he was someone I wanted on my side in a battle.
About the only time I ever saw Ted get frustrated was when one of his stories would mysteriously disappear off the computer screen. He was convinced it was the computer. I suspected it wasn’t since no one else working at that same computer encountered the same problems.
But it happened and on a frequent basis. And when it did, I initially thought of two things: myself and my crammed schedule.
I was too busy to go over and help him figure out what happened once again. I had phone calls to make and e-mails to write. I didn’t have time to deal with this. So I tried to tune out the huffs coming from across the room.
But then I would be convicted and my heart softened. Maybe now, maybe down the road, I might be in the same position, needing help for something I didn’t understand and hoping that someone would be there for me.
Ted never said anything, but he didn’t have to. I knew what needed to be done. It was the only option. Ted would have done the same for me.
Yes, Ted cared a great deal about bowling, but he cared more about people. While he paid us the compliment all the time, the reality was that Ted was the true “gentleman and scholar.”
He taught. He listened. He inspired.
He will be missed.
David Fawcett is the sports editor of the Potomac News & Manassas Journal Messenger. Reach him at (703) 878-8052 or at