My sweet significant other, the Yard Sale Queen, doesn’t ask for much. Well, most of the time she doesn’t, but when it comes to the house, she voices her opinion in no uncertain terms.

 

She disliked the Berber carpet in the open living/dining room area, bedrooms and office, the vinyl flooring in the kitchen, hallway, bathrooms and laundry room. Come to think of it, she didn’t like anything about the floor coverings in any room.

 

She lamented how dirty the carpet looked no matter how much she vacuumed and shampooed it.

 

So whatever the Yard Sale Queen wants, the Yard Sale Queen gets – remember the shiny and sporty real chrome rims on her vehicle?

 

However, replacing flooring is expensive. “But wait,” as the commercial says, “there’s more.”

 

We’ll get to the countertops, fence, shed, appliances and the shower in a few minutes.

 

An important project was in the master bathroom, replacing the vinyl with a really cool blue tile. I have to admit it looked really nice and felt sooo good in the winter in bare feet. She liked that so much that, we installed the same tile in the laundry room and purchased different tile for the smaller hall bathroom. Of course, you have to buy matching throw rugs for the bathrooms to keep feet warm and cover up the tile pattern she liked so much.

 

The carpet in the main part of the house, vinyl in the hallway and kitchen were all ripped up and replaced with hardwood floors. It looks nice until the chairs slide across it and scratch the floors. I have to admit it is much easier to keep clean.

 

The house came with ugly pink colored Formica countertops. New granite countertops replaced that.

 

When we bought the house in 2009, we had an open backyard. It’s hard to control a precocious Yorkie with no fence. So, up went a fence.

 

Then we needed a place to store about 500 dolls. I am not exaggerating. The Yard Sale Queen has more dolls than Mattel. So, we built a 140-square-foot shed in the backyard that is now crammed with dolls and everything else we can’t store in the house.

 

A new living room suit with electric recliners followed.

 

The Yard Sale Queen complained about the master bedroom and office carpet so we replaced the I needed an office to work from home when I had two real part-time jobs so we converted a bedroom into an office. Off we went to price carpet and installation.

 

“Wally, what color carpet do you want?” she asked.

 

I am not falling for that. I told her to pick out what she wanted both color and material because if she didn’t like it, I was not taking the fall. Momma didn’t raise a total fool. It turned out fine.

 

The appliances that came with the house were old and outdated, plus the washer and dryer were starting to show real signs of breaking down. So in came stainless steel microwave, refrigerator, dishwasher and stove. The Yard Sale Queen insisted they be smudge-free not just stainless steel. In an effort to be transparent, I wanted the new appliances, however she spent a king’s ransom to buy accessories that matched stainless steel instead of the white appliances we had.

 

My neighbor with the thick German accent suffered a failed air conditioning unit. Her unit was 16 years old. Ours was 18 years old and functioning but not at optimum efficiency, according to the HVAC technician.

 

A new furnace and AC unit was installed on a cool and rainy day in June

 

A new glass shower stall to replace the nasty one with sliding glass doors that always derailed was installed last month.

 

Finally, I rested on my laurels, exhausted from years of upgrades.

 

“We are done,” I said triumphantly.

 

“No, Wally, we still have to replace the carpet in the spare bedroom,” she said assertively, hands on hips and tapping her toe.

 

Sigh.

 

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