Editor: Dear Arlington County Board members – thank you for your courageous stand against recycling, as reflected in your recent decision to exclude the single largest category, by weight, of recycled materials: glass.
Recycling, and doing environmentally responsible stuff in general, is just too expensive, and it requires too much thought and creativity. We wouldn’t want our well-paid elected and managerial officials to waste their precious time thinking outside the waste box.
Now, people can just throw glass out, or bring it down to the Quincy Park dumpster themselves every week, where the county will grind it into more impervious pavement to increase runoff into the Chesapeake Bay.
I mean, glass is just sand, and what could that be worth? We don’t have sandboxes any more at the playgrounds. They’re too dirty. After all, sand is worthless. Once we melt all the glaciers in Greenland, there will be plenty more washing out into the fjords, to be dredged up and melted to make more shiny new glass to throw away in Arlington.
Plastic is so much more healthy. It’s good to drink from, and later you can throw it away and burn it. Oil companies and marine life benefit from it, too, I have read in some new EPA publications. New islands are forming in the Pacific from plastic, because unlike glass, plastic floats. Sea-level rise is irrelevant when you can float!
Since Arlington has won all the environmental awards anyway, we can just coast from now on. Thanks for making everything easy and cheap. Just promise, no more bragging about our recycling rate. That is so 20th century! You know, back when you pretended to care.
Don Weber, Arlington